i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
