maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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