this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
