i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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