Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
