I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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