i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You have to summon your inner elephant
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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