Pappa wants mamma naked
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
