Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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