Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
