The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
