On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
