Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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