ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
