She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
