I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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