you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
