i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
