and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
