What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
