Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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