And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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