if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize