Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
