you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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