Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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