You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
