Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
