I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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