They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
