got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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