so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
