clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
