Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize