I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
