bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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