Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
