you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
