It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
