So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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