WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
