I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck me I smell like cheese
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
