we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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