i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
