Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
