I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
