you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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