you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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