I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize