I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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