The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
