And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
