I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
