What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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