i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
