it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
