I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
