if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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