HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
