took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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