He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
