woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They took my balls.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't want my vagina anymore.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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