There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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